I Want....

“If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world."   ~C.S. Lewis

This morning, as I write this, two people that I love are battling the disease called cancer. And, physically, cancer is winning. My Uncle Willie is a little bit better after a horrendous weekend of sickness and medical procedures.

My cousin Lisa has been given days to live. Days.

It's just not fair. She has two children. A son who is getting married soon. A daughter who is finishing college and probably planning her own wedding soon. She has beautiful, young, granddaughters. For five years they have watched Lisa fight for life and health and she's losing. Her daughter has spent most of her teenage years watching her mother slip away and fighting with her. It's not supposed to be that way. Lisa's little granddaughters are so young, they'll barely remember her and if they do, I'm not sure they'll remember a whole lot other than her being sick.

It's......heartbreaking.

I'm mad at cancer. I'm mad that God hasn't stepped in and healed them. I'm mad at the injustice of it all. No one should suffer like that. No one.

I want a world where people that I love don't die and disappointments don't happen and life doesn't hurt. I want a world where there are no orphans, no hungry people, and no sickness. I want a world where people get their happy endings because things like divorce, disease, and hopelessness don't exist. 

That seems simple enough, doesn't it? I mean, if I were God, it would be a no brainer. But, I'm not God and these awful horrible things are a part of my world.

I want a world where I'm not judged by whether or not I'm pretty enough or thin enough. I don't want to live in a world where having stuff and being "somebody" matters. I want a world where the "outcasts" matter just as much as the "important" people. I want a world where my worth is not based on what you can see. 

Here's the thing. I want the things God created me to want. He created me for a perfect world where there is no sickness, no shame, and no heartache. He made my heart to only be satisfied by His perfect love and His perfect world. 

But, sin entered this world and by one simple, selfish act, our world was irrevocably broken. Through Satan's lie and Eve's rebellion, we became broken. Our world became something God didn't plan and Satan wanted to destroy. Satan came to steal, kill and destroy. When Eve ate that fruit, she understood what evil was. Her innocence and pure walk with God was forever tainted as was that of every human that would come after her.

Before you're too hard on Eve, we're just as guilty. Maybe not something as overt as eating the fruit off a tree that had been forbidden, but guilty nonetheless. Little attitudes that we convince ourselves don't matter, but they certainly don't obey our mandate to be loving. Little judgements - judgements like, 'if I was in that situation I wouldn't handle it like that.'  It's the 'little' things that trip most of us up.

We a sorry group, I tell you. We want what God created us to want - beauty, equality, perfection, love, kindness. Jesus. We were created for something else and Someone else. Yet, every day I make decisions that say that this world, and it's trappings are okay by me. I live like this life is the concert, not the opening act.

What is real and true is yet to come. I pray for myself, and for you, that we will have the courage to make decisions that reflect who we are and what we are living for. I'm not made for this. 

It's okay to enjoy this life. There are certainly beautiful parts about it. It's okay to be sad when people we love leave this world. It's hard to walk, even for a moment, without people who have made our lives so wonderful. It's okay to love this life - I do. 

But, that hole, that thing inside of you that you wish you could fill up - it won't be filled by something this world can satisfy. It wasn't meant to be satisfied by people, no matter how much you love them and they love you. It wasn't meant to be satisfied by success, or experience, or the stuff we can buy. 

It was created for a Savior and it was created for a place we have yet to see. In Philippians 3:20, Paul  said he was not a citizen of this world and that he "eagerly" awaited the Savior from that world. I'm not telling you not to love this life or enjoy it. Our Jesus came to give us abundant life. He wants you to enjoy the blessings he has given you. I guess, what I am saying is, live this life like it's just the opening act. Real life is yet to come. Don't be fooled by the trappings of this world and what this world says important. And when you hurt, when life seems unfair, when it all falls apart and you get tired of praying and waiting on God to answer, remember, my friend, that we were not created to be filled or satisfied here. 

We were are created for something so much more.